Winning the Lottery Won”t Ruin My Life – I Promise!

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I started thinking about New Year”s resolutions way before the holidays. For a while, I was thinking about cutting back a bit on my TV habit and reducing the relentless teasing I get from family and friends. I thought about spending more time with my Kindle and less time with Top Chef. For a few rash moments, I even thought about doing without my ultimate guilty pleasure – America”s Next Most Favoritest Top Model. Not to worry – I snapped out of it. When times are tough and you need a laugh, you don”t go cold turkey on your Tyra habit.# And then I stumbled upon what may be the best reality show ever, hiding right there in plain sight on TLC.

I”ll admit it – TLC has some reality shows so bizarre that even I won”t watch. However, The Lottery Changed My Life isn”t one of those shows. I”ve only seen it once because it inconveniently comes on during the day when I”m at work, but I know it”s going to be my new favorite. #(See – already a way the lottery would change my life. I”d be completely open for daytime TV viewing.)

I know there are scores of examples of folks whose lives were ruined after they won the lottery. To that I say — try me. I promise that if I win the lottery, I”ll be good. Also wise, generous, conservative and forward-thinking. I”ll give more to charity, sock away money for education (particularly since my children seem inclined to stay in college forever), and secure the future for family members. I would say that I wouldn”t throw the money away on needless excesses, but stimulating the economy with spending is now a patriotic gesture – so I”ll be doing the right thing for my country. I”d also like to point out that my current “mom van”# is eight years old, has almost 120,000 miles on it and is likely a gas guzzler. #I think we can all agree that something smaller, red and shiny would be a worthy sacrifice on my part. #No need to thank me. I”m here to help.

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